.X

"This is for the drugs", I said.




As I lay on the bathroom floor, the tiles, perfect cold, the room dark and my volume on 95 listening to beats, I wonder about my life. I'm still in the prime of my life and nothing is ever even. I am attempting love again and I'm failing miserably. It could be because I'm a trepid man, flawed and unworthy or because I'm just better off alone.

After all......

Sorry, I dozed off. After all what is the point of life? Are we just here to live to croak or just Sims in another beings game? Aah what's the point of even thinking about it. My best friend says I'm scared to be alone and that's why I jump into things and give so many chances for things to work out. Maybe she is right, maybe I should take some time alone and work on myself or whatever they say nowadays.

Still doesn't answer the question of how things would change if I come back. Would I feel less trepid or unworthy of others? Would my social dynamics change as I hid myself in a cocoon to become a butterfly? Would I please more or become just more of me; a cold being with emotions as blunt as a sharpie.

He passed me two perfectly rolled joints, I said my thanks and headed to my seat.

Later that evening, I locked my doors, spread the towel on the bathroom floor, got a pillow and blocked out the lights and began to have an existential crisis.