December; tis season to be lonely.
I initially wanted to write this at home behind my laptop as I was drowning in another wave of sadness and loneliness but alas I had to attend to life. So now I write this in a bus on the way to shop.
Has anyone seen the ride fares; it's insane and yet people are going out. Meeting people,having fun and the most I've done is go out to run errands. One that I'm running right now seems like a stupid quest. I could have gotten the items right in my neighborhood but walking and typing is a chance to reduce my life span, so....
Anyways back to the matter, a couple of good friends told me not be sad and made it sound like it's a switch I activate. Perhaps it is.
Perhaps it is nothing more than a child who can't come to terms with his adulthood and just wants to nag. After all people have worse problems. "You have life", they say. A job, friends, family, people who love you.
I have no life, I reply. A family I rarely see. Friends I barely know. Love I can't grow. An unending crushing weight to be better every time I sit behind my desk and turn on my laptop. It's a cycle I'm afraid, never ending cycle. Sitting amongst crowds and saying naught because you value nothing more than the darkness.
It is honestly easy to just go out and mingle. Chase the high and the fleeting moments of joy. It fulfills you in the moment, I guess but at the end of the night, does it stay with you or become another moment to chase.
Well I did my shopping, bought my needs of sustenance and now I sit home behind my phone bringing this to an end.
The end.
P. S. This story reads weird and disjointed. Ah well.
Has anyone seen the ride fares; it's insane and yet people are going out. Meeting people,having fun and the most I've done is go out to run errands. One that I'm running right now seems like a stupid quest. I could have gotten the items right in my neighborhood but walking and typing is a chance to reduce my life span, so....
Anyways back to the matter, a couple of good friends told me not be sad and made it sound like it's a switch I activate. Perhaps it is.
Perhaps it is nothing more than a child who can't come to terms with his adulthood and just wants to nag. After all people have worse problems. "You have life", they say. A job, friends, family, people who love you.
I have no life, I reply. A family I rarely see. Friends I barely know. Love I can't grow. An unending crushing weight to be better every time I sit behind my desk and turn on my laptop. It's a cycle I'm afraid, never ending cycle. Sitting amongst crowds and saying naught because you value nothing more than the darkness.
It is honestly easy to just go out and mingle. Chase the high and the fleeting moments of joy. It fulfills you in the moment, I guess but at the end of the night, does it stay with you or become another moment to chase.
Well I did my shopping, bought my needs of sustenance and now I sit home behind my phone bringing this to an end.
The end.
P. S. This story reads weird and disjointed. Ah well.
Kwame....... Hmmm
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